Listen to them.
Offer to take them and their friends out some where. It doesn't matter if you walk or take them in your car, either is good, but do it.
Then just listen to the conversations that your kid(s) and their friends have in front of you.
Just listen.
Maybe speak up every now and then if something really comes up, but listen.
Repeat.
Then do this with just your kids. Just you, not the spouse/SO, and the kids.
Repeat.
Just listen.
You will start to pick up key words and then trends.
Just listen.
At some point you will find yourself actually talking with your kid.
And then you will be doing yourself a favor.
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