DarkStar Spouts Off

Happy Mother's Day

I'm blessed to have been born into the family of which I am apart.

I'm blessed to have women who are good mothers to my children.

I'm wishing the mothers, biological, adoptive, and/or in actions, a great Mother's Day!

Poppi

An idea came to my mind.

Master P made it plain that he was overlooking the career of his son Romeo, but that he was his father first and if need be, he would stop Romeo's career because his son's development was most important.

Snoop Dogg supported the football league his son was playing in. After getting upset about something, Snoop created another football league and was/is active in it.

In a few interviews I saw or heard, Busta Rhymes has stated he is concerned about providing for his son and that dictated some of the career moves that he made.

50 Cent claims he has his son with him a lot and even brought him a bullet proof vest. What. Ever.

The idea is for these people to create PSAs encouraging "men" to be a part of their children's lives.

No Home Training

A lot of what is going wrong in some Black communities is the result of poor or no home training. But it has always been my contention that most parents, including single parents, if they knew better, would do better. You will always have your exceptions, but most would do better if they knew better. One question to ask is, "Why don't they know better?" But I think a more important question to ask is, "How do we get them to learn to DO better?"

Some people are saying since the parents aren't doing their job, it's up to the schools to "socialize" -- home train -- the children. But I maintain that if you are in an area were socialization is a problem, then socialization in the school is a problem, which means I tend to think that you can't teach socialization in the school because the atmosphere doesn't allow it. (Of course, if you suspend and/or expel the problem students, then the atmosphere would be more hospitable).

So, the answer has to be non-government groups that can teach parents to be better parents and/or socialize the children who aren't being socialized properly.

If we leave it up to non-government groups, then the issue is getting the parents to attend programs that will attempt to teach them to be better parents. Or the problem is getting the children into the socialization programs.

Of course, if someone reports the parents or the children get into trouble, the court system can then "order" the parents or children to attend the parenting and socialization programs.

Personally, I think the government putting its nose in parenting of children has not helped the situation at all. Children know that if their parents whup them, they can call "child protective services" and get the  parents in trouble.

On a personal level, family, friends, and I have reached out one on one to people we know who have not been parenting properly to suggest ways they could be better. But we can't be there 24/7/365.

More later

Divorce, Video Style

This woman is nuts!
Maybe THAT'S why he wants a divorce.

Kids (Really The Parents) Out Of Control And One Hero

I've been busy but I need to comment on these. I'll clean this up later, but except in one case, these kids are REALLY out of control! Actually, it's the PARENTS who have failed to properly raise and control their children!

I'm going to provide personal commentary later, but this is just over the top!

[ UPDATES to include article quoting and my own comments ]

Chicago Sadness

In all, 20 Chicago public school students have been fatally shot so far this school year -- seven in March alone -- compared with 24 the year before, said spokesman Mike Vaughn. Including those who died in non-gun violence, 22 students have been killed this year, and 30 last school year. School officials could not provide precise figures, but said that killings had increased markedly over past years.

On Tuesday, hundreds of Chicago public school students from four high schools gathered downtown to protest the violence and to call for more gun-control measures, with the school district sanctioning their absences and supplying buses, the Associated Press reported. Twenty empty school desks, each representing a fallen student, were set up in front of the James R. Thompson Center, which houses state offices.

A well-known anti-violence crusader on the South Side, the Rev. Michael Pfleger, had also planned a community rally Tuesday, and said St. Sabina Catholic Church will offer rewards for information about the killings.

In response to the increased violence, Chicago police have been increasing their presence at schools and have begun monitoring live pictures from 4,500 school security cameras.

This is a nice stand for the students to take, but gun control isn't the problem. The problem is their peers aren't controlling themselves and their peers aren't controlling themselves because their parents haven't taught them how to control themselves nor do their parents have control of them, their kids.

Teens abducted.

An Amber Alert has been issued for two teenage brothers apparently kidnapped after six gunmen invaded their Catonsville home yesterday, a Baltimore County police spokesman said.

Shortly before 3 a.m., six armed men wearing masks got out of a gray Chevrolet Suburban in front of a house in the 600 block of Plymouth Road and forced their way into the two-story house occupied by two females and eight males, most of whom did not live there.

Once inside, the men awakened the occupants, binding their hands behind their backs with tape and gagging them, said Cpl. Mike Hill, the spokesman.

The armed intruders remained in the house for eight hours, until about 11 a.m., when they left with the brothers, Stephon Blackwell, 17, and Sterling Blackwell, 16, in a black 2004 BMW 645 convertible that belongs to one of the occupants.

You know there is more here. They were living dirty. In fact, "their home" is a group home and police "retrieved" a lot of money, at least, from the home.

7 Year Old with Gun

The guns came from his uncle's house. One tumbled from the boy's pocket and onto the classroom floor. The other, police said, was found in his locker after a teacher took the child to the principal's office.

The boy is 7 years old and in first grade at Randallstown Elementary School.

He was suspended and faces possible expulsion. But police said he will not be charged with any crime, because there is no reason to believe he intended to use the weapons - even though both were loaded, with bullets in the chamber, ready to fire.

"It's a toy to him," said Cpl. Michael Hill, a Baltimore County police spokesman. "This is a first-grader, a 7-year-old. He doesn't know the repercussions of this or anything."

So, you mean to tell me that the parents never checked the boy's bag? After I spent time at someone else's house, my bag was checked. Then, there is the morning when you are going to school. No one checked the boy's bag then? And how can an uncle lose two guns and not know it? This doesn't add up, but if what is being reported is all there is, then, again, the adults didn't do their job.

He. Is. SEVEN. Years. Old!

Oh, this next one... But please read below the fold for a teenager who did the right thing.

Mail List Comments R Me: Eonomics and Political Party

So there is a mini-firestorm happening on an email list that I'm on. It happens to be about voting Democratic vs. voting Republican.

In one of the responses, I wrote:

I don't care if politicians feel my pain. I just want them out of my damn pocket and out of my way.

Later, I wrote the following (with edits) response to the question of how voting for the GOP would fulfill that desire:

Right now, if the tax cuts stay in place, my taxes will be lower because of DS 2.0 and the Mrs. Other than that, they are a waste. But the Democrats are talking about re-vamping income taxes, which means I'm screwed.

I'm going though that now in Maryland, which is controlled by Dems. They have increased the sales tax. The Dem governor, Martin O'Malley, is talking about taking measures to force a decrease in green house emissions by 90%, without even knowing what is possible. He has even said as much. As a result, a lot of people, including some Democrats, are saying the measures  he is talking about WILL drastically increase the cost of living for all people left in Maryland. O'Malley is in a pissing contest with an energy provider in Maryland and there are now lawsuits flying left and right. O'Malley's moves and comments are blamed for about a 15% drop of the company's stock value.

Bad Contributor! Bad Contributor!

Lord, how did I forget to mention this?
*SIGH*
PLEASE blame this on my fool head and not my heart!

32 Days of Black History

Please join my friend, Yvette (over at Six Impossible Things…) and I as we celebrate Black History Month with a blogathon. You read it right: We’ll be blogging all things–well, many things– Black for 32 consecutive days, Feb. 1 - March 3. 

 

Why 32 days? As many black folks have wryly observed–some with tongues planted in cheeks, some without–”they” picked the shortest month of the year to celebrate our contributions. In truth, “they” didn’t pick February at all:

 

Black History Month was established in 1976 by Afro-Americans for the Study of Afro-American Life and History.^[1] The month-long celebration was an expansion of Negro History Week, which was established in 1926 by Carter G. Woodson, director of what was then known as the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History. Woodson selected the week in February that embraced the birthdays of both Frederick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln. –from wikipedia.com

 

 

Still, Yvette and I thought, why not throw in a few extra days? Black folks’ contributions to

U.S.

history and world history certainly aren’t suffering from a surfeit of p.r.

So, we invite interested bloggers to climb on the 32 Days of Black History bandwagon. We’ve got a range of topics and formats lined up–from social commentary, book reviews, arts and culture, and our personal family histories and reflections, to memes and trivia (”Are You Smarter Than a Black Fifth Grader?”). Also, throughout the month, we’ll have some guest bloggers take over our spots and bring us their BHM-related musings and analyses.

 

On a given day, Yvette and I will be posting on roughly the same topic, but other 32 Days… We’re just looking for camaraderie. For all participating bloggers, we’ll cross-promote our collective efforts. bloggers aren’t obligated to follow our game plan.

Deesha and Yvette asked me to write a piece for a day and I did. But dang if I didn't do my part to publicize this....

You see, I'm a software weenie not an author who should know that pub is really important and...

OK, that ain't a good enough reason. My bad. Again, blame my head not my heart....

Worrying About Education

D.S. 2.0 is 2 1/2. We already have a college investment account set up and being funded and we have an educational account set up and being funded. I'm in the process of finding a bigger home to move my family to and the process includes looking at the educational system of the areas that I think are desirable. This is despite the fact the plan is to send D.S. 2.0 to private school or to home school him. My thought process is if, for some reason, we are forced to put him into public school, the public school system will be decent enough that we won't have to spend a lot of money to supplement the public school education just to reach a level of education that we, his parents, find acceptable. It's for this reason that I scratched out Prince Georges County, Maryland, even though I know the areas were up scale Black families, who are more likely to have similar values to ours, live. I don't need an all Black neighborhood, but it would be nice to see more Black families, like mine, on a daily basis.

Because of that, I really understand what is going on with the author of this article, The Bourgie Blues:

I didn't have to read Lacy's book to know this. Though my days of heavy lifting as a parent are drawing to a well-earned conclusion (my daughter is a third-year college student and almost emancipated), I have always been fascinated by discussions of how  black parents raise their children. Personal experience and pained conversation with other parents assures me that this issue occupies an enormous volume of middle-class black parents' waking hours.

When my wife and I moved to Atlanta with an infant daughter more than 20 years ago, we made a conscious and deliberate decision to live around other middle-class black people in Dekalb County. We did the same a few years later when we moved to Washington, D.C., choosing to relocate in the same Prince George's County community that Lacy studied. (A note of disclosure: Lacy and I are friends and I assisted her in locating neighbors in our subdivision for her research.)

My wife and I thought it would be best – and easier – to raise a healthy and happy black daughter, if she was constantly exposed to other middle-class black families.

A decade later, we wanted to do the same when we moved to northeast Ohio, but were shocked to discover that Greater Cleveland lacks an upwardly mobile, predominately black middle-class community. So we settled in a largely white suburb with highly regarded schools. It turned out all right, I suppose, but still I wish I'd had another, predominately black and middle-class option.

                       

Yes, I understand. For me, right now, finding a suitable home is paramount, education for D.S. 2.0 is involved in the decision, and then developing multiple income streams for myself so that I can leave sizable legacy wealth for Miss D.S. and D.S. 2.0

Two Points

I have to simple things to point out:

1. With Pat Robinson supporting Rudy Guliani, is there any further proof that the love of money is evil? Think about this. Pat Robinson is supporting a man who cheated on his wife, supports "the homosexual agenda," made New York City a "sanctuary city," and is a gun grabber. His support CAN'T be about morals because Rudy has none. Some would say it is about "protecting against terrorism" but Rudy was around when the first World Trade Center bombing happened and what did he do to try to prevent a second attempt? It HAS to be about money, meaning business.
2. Andy Reid and his wife should probably be in jail or out on bail. And the NFL should suspend him. I understand that parents can't be held accountable for what their adult children do, but when both are living in your home and are dealing drugs, you have a clue something isn't right.

There Is NO Reason To Feel Guilty

There is absolutely NO reason for David Nicholson to feel guilty. He did what, as a parent, he is REQUIRED to do. He put his family FIRST before his lofty ideals.

As a parent who sent his daughter to Lutheran and then Catholic school from K - 8, and then a public magnet school, I whole heartily support charter schools, vouchers, and "school choice." As a parent whose son will be entering school in about 3 years, I whole heartily support the idea that parents should make what they think is the best choices for their children, be it sending them to charter schools, private schools, or home schooling. We have to do what is right for our children. I won't sacrifice my son, either!

When a high school friend told me several years ago that he and his wife were leaving Washington's Mount Pleasant neighborhood for Montgomery County, I snickered and murmured something about white flight. Progressives who traveled regularly to Cuba and Brazil, they wanted better schools for their children. I saw their decision as one more example of liberal hypocrisy.

I was childless then, but I have a 6-year-old now. And I know better. So to all the friends -- most but not all of them white -- whom I've chastised over the years for abandoning the District once their children reached school age:

I'm sorry. You were right. I was wrong.

After nearly 20 years in the city's Takoma neighborhood, the last six in a century-old house that my wife and I thought we'd grow old in, we have forsaken the city for the suburbs.

...

Any one of these academic and social issues would have been problematic; together, they were reasons to start looking elsewhere. So in early September -- after putting our house on the market at the start of the mortgage loan crunch, after closing on one house in the morning and the other in the afternoon and then moving the next day -- our son started at his new school in Vienna. Fairfax County schools have consistently been rated excellent, and I was encouraged by the simple things that parents here take for granted, but that too often turn out to be impossible in Washington.

When I e-mailed a Fairfax principal one evening in May, I didn't expect a response before the morning. Ten minutes later, he replied with an invitation to visit his school. I said that I wanted to talk to a teacher or two. One called the next day. I couldn't return her call immediately. A day later, she left a message asking me to phone her at home that weekend.

When I called my high school friend to tell him that I was writing this, he was surprised to hear that we'd moved. "I'd always sort of admired you," he said, "for your commitment to the city." I felt as guilty as I'd probably made him feel years ago.

Like I wrote above, there is no need to feel guilty. What will be interesting, to me, will be the comments made by opinion types to the article.

Adoption

Let's say you are a single Black woman who wants kids so you decide to adopt. You have the financial resources to take care of the child or children so funding is not an issue. In fact, you go to a private adoption service to adopt children; Black children.

You get the children and are now a happy family. Now, add to that scenario that the children are from Africa.

More later but this really has me fuming.

[ Update ]

I am referring to this article in The Washington Post. Why would Ms. Neale need to go to Africa to get children when there are plenty in the U.S. waiting to be adopted? From experience, I know that some adoptions aren't easy to get done, but what about OUR children?

This saddens me and makes me mad.

Comments R Us: Mentoring Plan

Over at Booker Rising, in response to this post, I wrote the following:

Why is it few seem to mention changing actions by mentoring and the need for more mentors?
You can't keep spouting this stuff and not say anything about HOW people CHANGE negative behaviors.

I was asked to lay out "a plan," so here it is:

• Find people who did a good job in raising their children and use them for advice.
• Raise your kids properly.
• If you have someone in your family who "needs help," help out.
• Know your children's friends and don't be afraid to "raise them" as well. They will have more impact on your children than you really care to know.
• Join a church group, local group, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Urban League, 100 Black Men, Concerned Black Men, or some such group and mentor. If that isn't your thing, go to a local school and offer your services.
• Reach out to kids in your neighborhood.

Happy Mother's Day

To the natural, official adoptive, unofficial adoptive, foster, care takers, stand-ins, "aunties" and all, Happy Mother's Day1

Now What Happens?

Don Imus is gone. Now what happens?

Do WE pick up the ball WE dropped and put more power behind the efforts started at Essence Magazine and Spellman to clean up rap lyrics?

Do We pick up the ball WE dropped, or never picked up, to protest and act against radio stations, including those owned by Radio One, for playing the filth?

What happens now?

One Drop Rule Strikes Again

The title of this post says it all.

VINITA, Okla. -- J.D. Baldridge, 73, has official government documents showing him to be a descendant of a full-blood Cherokee. He has memories of a youth spent among Cherokee neighbors and kin, at tribal stomp dances and hog fries. He holds on to a fair amount of Cherokee vocabulary. " Salali," Baldridge says, his face creasing into a smile at the word. "Squirrel stew. Oh, that was good."

What Baldridge, a retired Oklahoma county sheriff, also has is at least one black ancestor, a former slave of a Cherokee family. That could get Baldridge cast out of the tribe, along with thousands of others.

The 250,000-member Cherokee Nation will vote in a special election today whether to override a 141-year-old treaty and change the tribal constitution to bar "freedmen," the descendants of former tribal slaves, from being members of the sovereign nation.

"It's a basic, inherent right to determine our own citizenry. We paid very dearly for those rights," Cherokee Principal Chief Chad Smith said in an interview last month in Oklahoma City.

So, what about all of those Black people who brag about, "I got some Indian in me"?

You Are Going To Hate Me For This

You are going to hate me for this, but I have some questions:

1. Has this mother ever heard of toothpaste, tooth brush, and oral hygiene?
2. Did this mother realize sugar rots teeth?

What Can You Say About This?

OK, what can you say about this?

NEW YORK - Genealogists have found that civil rights activist the Rev.
Al Sharpton is a descendent of a slave owned by relatives of the late
Sen. Strom Thurmond, a newspaper reported Sunday.

The Daily News said professional genealogists, working at the
newspaper's behest, recently uncovered the ancestral ties between one of
the nation's best known black leaders and a man who was once a prominent
defender of segregation.

"I have always wondered what was the background of my family," the
newspaper quoted Sharpton as saying. "But nothing - nothing - could
prepare me for this."

"It's chilling. It's amazing."

Amazing. Good word.

Honoring Nursing and History

On Saturday, I went to an event sponsored by the Baltimore chapter of the Black Nurses Association, the Gamma Chapter of the Chi Eta Phi Sorority, Inc., and the Provident Hospital Helene Fuld School of Nursing Alumni Association.

It was an event meant to recognize individuals in the spirit of "The Nursing Legacy of Harriet R. Tubman." My cousin was one of the women who received the Harriet Tubman Legacy in Nursing Award.

I've attended Provident Hospital Alumni events in the past and these events have ALWAYS left me in awe at what the nurses educated at "the Black nursing school" of Provident has been able to accomplish over time.

For background information, the Provident Nursing School was the school in Baltimore, Maryland for Negro women to learn the art of nursing. The older women in my family who were nurses, including my mother, attended the school.

Two featured speakers were Lilyan Slater, R.N. and Esther McCready, R.N. About both women all I have to say is wow.

Lilyan Slater is older of the two women and spoke about the amount of materials she has about Black nurses in Baltimore. She is working with the Reginald Lewis Museum to get the material so that it is not lost.

Esther McCready spoke about what she went through to become the first Negro to attend and graduate from the University of Maryland Nursing School. This article matches, with much less detail, what she told to us about her path to attending and graduating from the University of Maryland.

One thing really struck me about what she said. She said she was isolated at the school. No one walked with her, talked to her, or ate with her. But, she said it didn't matter. When she was a child, she preferred to be by herself. That, she said, prepared her for being alone at the school. She said many times that she believes God prepared her for what she was going to do. Her faith, and the faith of Lilyan Slater came through strongly in their speech.

She also had an interest in music and had a second vocation which took her around the world as a musician. She also worked with Raven Symone.

At the end of the event, I spoke with my cousin and waited about 15-30 minutes to speak with both of the ladies. I told them both that I am not a nurse but my mother was a nurse. Given what my cousin told me, Esther McCready probably taught my mother. But, regardless of that, I wanted to thank them both for their contributions to Black nurses in Baltimore and the country.

Oh, yes, and how about this chain: Lilyan Slater mentored Esther McCready at Provident Hospital in Baltimore. Esther McCready taught my cousin at Provident. My cousin has taught at Provident and other schools. As people came up to speak with Lilyan Slater and Esther McCready, I kept hearing over and over again, "Thank you for teaching me." And what really moved me was hearing some women say the same to my cousin.

Why I Give Thanks

I give thanks, publicly, today but I do so occasionally and it should be always. I give thanks for:

• My family who raised me, guided me, prayed for me, and had faith, and continue to keep faith, in me.
• My friends who deal with me as I am.
• My daughter who I have enjoyed seeing grow up even if she still frustrates me at time.
• My son who I'm enjoying see grow up even if he is causing me broken sleep.
• My wife who is a great life partner.

Why I Gave Up On Hip-Hop

While I never had a crush on LL Cool Jay, I echo this sister's setiments. And while my daughter is older than her daughter, the conversation she lets us know about, closely matches that I've had with my daughter, except she never asked about "Black people on the radio."

My 12-year-old daughter, Sydney, and I were in the car not long ago when she turned the radio to a popular urban contemporary station. An unapproved station. A station that might play rap music. "No way, Syd, you know better," I said, so Sydney changed the station, then pouted.

"Mommy, can I just say something?" she asked. "You think every time you hear a black guy's voice it's automatically going to be something bad. Are you against hip-hop?"

Her words slapped me in the face. In a sense, she was right. I haven't listened to radio hip-hop for years. I have no clue who is topping the charts and I can't name a single rap song in play.

But I swear it hasn't always been that way.

My daughter can't know that hip-hop and I have loved harder and fallen out further than I have with any man I've ever known.

That my decision to end our love affair had come only after years of disappointment and punishing abuse. After I could no longer nod my head to the misogyny or keep time to the vapid materialism of another rap song. After I could no longer sacrifice my self-esteem or that of my two daughters on an altar of dope beats and tight rhymes.

I like the piece.

How About SorryAssBabyMomma?

Last week I blogged about the female who bore multiple children, one of which she let be around a man she knew was a pedophile. The end result is the pedophile killed the female's son, Irvin Harris. If you want to read what I wrote, go here and here.

Shanda Harris, the female, is 41, drug addicted, has a criminal record, and has multiple children. And, as I later said, I think the pedophile used her drug addition to get access to her son, Irvin Harris. But that's my speculation with nothing to back it up but "a feeling."

Last week I blogged about a "social commentary" web site called SorryAssBabyDaddies.

Today, I was looking at the referral links and I noticed a high number of searches for that web site. So, I clicked one of the searches and started looking at some other links. That's when I came across a story by Glenn Sacks and Jeffrey Leving of the Philadelphia Daily News. The article seems to be geared towards why non-custodial men are "dead beat" dads, and this article is something for another time. What caught my eye is this:

Ward excoriates dads and calls on her fellow sisters to publicly humiliate them, saying “our men have got to get it together…the only way to do that is to take their manhood away.” Ward, who at age 27 has had four children by four different fathers, eschews any personal fault for her own situation, claiming that none of her four births were intended.

OK.

She has 4 (four, fo', three plus one, five minus one, two squared) children by 4 (four, fo', three plus one, five minus one, two squared) different men.

This is what I wrote in the entry about SorryAssBabyDaddy:

I have no problem with the concept of the web site. These males need to be "called out" and shamed into doing the minimal, which would be child support. But it would be better if they became a good influence in their children's lives.

When I went to the list of "baby daddy's," something struck me. Unless I'm misunderstanding how the listing works, it looks like the creator of the web site has 3 kids. If this is the case, then maybe more should be said about the choices women make?

I was wrong! Sistah gurl has FOUR KIDS AT 27!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH YEAH, WHERE THE HELL IS HER RESPONSIBILITY IN ALL OF THIS!?!?!?!??!?!?!

Naw, you get one in my book. One. After that, you are just not being careful.

I don't see her taking responsibility for her mess!

Again, put the males who ain't manin' up out there!!!!

But there needs to be a web site called SorryAssBabyMomma and Fadia Ward's mess needs to be put there along with Shandra Harris. Sure, put them in totally different categories, but DAMN!!!!!

Lastly, why should men who are listed as being a dead beat, but provide proof that they are not dead beats, still have to pay $20 to be taken off of the website?

[ Update ]

I should have waited and followed more links.

If you can't muster any compassion for a woman who had her first child at 13, and three more by 24, stop reading. Ward already knows some people won't like her, or her plan. Her Web site invites women to post pictures of the men who knocked them up and the stories of how they took off without living up to a father's responsibility. But that's not about to stop her.

OK, that's enough. I'm done.

I understand why she's mad, but DAMN. Just DAMN.

[ Update 2 ]

OK, I kept reading links and refined the search a bit and came up with this link. So, to be fair...

Pregnant with her first child at age 12, she has four children - ages 3, 7, 10 and 14 - by four men. But she got pregnant with her two middle children despite using birth control, she said. Her fourth pregnancy came after the man "bamboozled" her by secretly removing his condom during sex, she said.

OK, you STILL ain't takin' responsibility...

The More I Hear

The more I hear about the sorry ass excuse of a female whose son was killed by a pedophile, the more I'm starting to think that she allowed the pedophile access to her son in exchange for drugs.

Formatting and more information later...

[ 8/4/06 Update ]

Sorry about the delay, we lost power for half of the day on Thursday.

Here are quotes from another article in the Baltimore Sun about this mess:

Baltimore prosecutors yesterday launched a child welfare investigation of the Harris family, saying possible charges against relatives and acquaintances of the 11-year-old boy who allegedly died at the hands of a registered sex offender could include child abuse and neglect.

...

Bertha Reid, Irvin's grandmother, said she was suspicious of Jones because he hung out with children often.

"I told her I thought something was wrong," said Reid, 59, of Shanda Harris. "I told her when I first met him. She had a drug problem, so she couldn't see."

Irvin, who would have been a fifth-grader this fall at Collington Square School, grew up in a Baltimore family strained by violence, financial problems and drug abuse, court records and interviews show.

His mother has struggled with a longtime heroin addiction; his father has been in prison for murder since Irvin was 3 years old.

Shanda Harris has been arrested and cited about a dozen times in Baltimore, according to court records.

She was found guilty last month in District Court of petty theft and put on yearlong probation.

Found guilty LAST MONTH?

I'm going to say this again. I bet she let that beast have access to her son for drugs or drug money.

Family Reunions: Interesting Times

Family reunions are interesting events in time.

You get to find out about family you didn't know existed, family squabbles, and family history.

You get to see people you don't see very often, except for funerals. It's a time to see those people in happier circumstances.

One of the things you may learn is, if you love your family and you want family harmony, as much as
possible with people anyway, please write a will so your family can't fight about your material belongings after you die.

Well, they may want to fight but it reduces the chance of it occurring. And if there is any hurt or blame, it will lie with the person who wrote the will.

The long term damage to the extended family fighting over materials after a person dies is unbelievable. So, please make a will.

I may post some pictures or I may not. It all depends on how I feel.

To "My Boyz"

To C, who raised his daughter as a single dad because the mother of his daughter was IS trifflin',

To C, who took in his daughter's friend to help him get through two of his last years in high school,

To B, who is providing a good example of what a man does and how a man handles his business,

To O, who is raising his son as a single dad because the mother of his son is trifflin',

Happy Father's Day!

Do Your Kid A Favor

Listen to them.

Offer to take them and their friends out some where. It doesn't matter if you walk or take them in your car, either is good, but do it.

Then just listen to the conversations that your kid(s) and their friends have in front of you.

Just listen.

Maybe speak up every now and then if something really comes up, but listen.

Repeat.

Then do this with just your kids. Just you, not the spouse/SO, and the kids.

Repeat.

Just listen.

You will start to pick up key words and then trends.

Just listen.

At some point you will find yourself actually talking with your kid.

And then you will be doing yourself a favor.