Comments R Us: Black Man Mental Health

P6 posted "Maybe Too Serious For A Blog". That entry pointed to "Praying For Death Because Of Shattered Family Dreams." I read it but didn't enter the commentary because, for some reason, it didn't hit me to do so. But, Spence chimed in with "Black Male Mental Health" and at first read, I just thought, "Hmmmm...." and left it alone.

Again, it didn't hit me to comment. Then I read it again and had a flow of thoughts that I posted:

Am I dealing with the same issues? How about, “I don’t know” as an answer?

Seriously.

I’ve been taking care of my daughter ever since I was 24, meaning I’ve been sacrificing me to make sure she has and/or will be on solid footing from childhood to early adult when she is then cut loose from my rope. I’m more worried about her NOW then in the past because at the ripe young age of 21, she’s making, in my opinion, some danged fooled decisions that I KNOW will retard her progress and as I have told her before, she has the capability to be much better than her dad IF she seizes the day.

As the sole bread earner I know I think more about money and finances and try to make sure we are saving for the future and I know we “MUST” move from where we are at into a bigger home and saving for that and looking around in this area and seeing that on my income alone, the size of home we “need” is going to be rough going. So, the wait or “get thee a job now woman!” thing goes back and forth in my mind UNTIL I see how well D.S. 2.0 is developing and I realize it’s all worth it.

My “employment” plan is to get self-employed “soon” and I have the business plan-lite underway. For me that means setting up the business but the biggest thing is setting up the contracts and a back up plan if that doesn’t work, but that means planning for failure and that can’t happen.

Then there is making sure D.S. 2.0 has college money set aside at the proper rate, which I know it isn’t and probably never will be unless schools realize they are pricing themselves out of the market, and saving for his grade school education, both using tax free schemes that the congress can revoke at anytime. And then there is the issue that I will resolve after doing taxes of continuing the standard 401(K), going all Roth 401(K), or a combination of 401(K) and Roth 401(K).

Then there is real planning that I’m doing to make sure that when the family expands because of extended family needs, that I can do it and keep on pushing.

Then there is retirement planning because I need to make sure I depend on me instead of the government or my kids. Although my daughter OWES ME!

Plus, I want that luxury car, the Lexus or BMW 750i. I want that boat. I want real legacy wealth that I can pass down or say, “The fundamentals for your life have been provided for you, so I’m going to provide for others. Love you!”

But I rate my mental health as good. After all, I’m worrying about things that must be worried about as a responsible adult in his early 4th decade.

Damn. Are you having a mid-life crisis?

Get a sports car!

I followed up with this after a comment from Cobb:

For me personally, I have beef with the fact that because I'm dependable it seems to be the only thing people want out of me.

This hits home. My "big cousin" called me recently to chat, which is strange because we don't chat except at gatherings and a little on-line. We chatted a bit and then came the real reason for the call. He said that I'm the executor on his will and he hoped that I didn't mind, "Because you are the only one in the family who I can trust to carry out my wishes and not get it screwed up."

I laughed and said "No problem. I've got your back" and then he told me his brother did the same thing. I'm the only child and they have helped me out alot. Now, they are coming to me asking the same. I already have the call to keep the family together and because of space and a neighbor who won't clean the dog s**t out of their yard, I didn't do one of the family cook out's this year. I fell down on my job.

You did it again.

DAMN....

Enough belly gazing for now. I'll let this marinade and come back to it.