Dear Mr. Cosby,
I don't know where to begin this letter other than to say I know a man named Alphonso.
Alphonso has always been considered a "ladies man." While in college, Alphonso got his girlfriend pregnant. He dropped out of college and obtained a good job. She dropped out of college but also obtained a good job.
Alphonso and Daphannie married after the child was born. During the engagement period, Alphonso embarked on a "skirt chasing" mission to "get it out of" his system. His "mission" was awe inspiring. He was very "successful" and what was so amazing was his honesty in telling the women, up front, that he was getting married soon and that he was trying to get it "out of his system."
There should be no surprise, I guess, that he cheated on his wife during their marriage. It may not also be a surprise that she cheated as well. But her story deserves another letter by itself.
During their marriage, another child was born. This child has issues today because of the lack of parenting, lack of money management, lack of delay of gratification, on the part of both parents. But the "baby child" story deserves another letter by itself.
I will mention now that not only does Alphonso love the ladies (and the ladies love Alphonso), but he also loves Jack. No, he's not on the "down low." Alphonso loves Jack Daniels.
His love of women and Jack have lead to a lot of problems. Of the two, the most damage has come from his love of Jack Daniels. He has lost a job because of this love. He also damaged his long term earning potential because of accidents he has had because he chose to drive while intoxicated. Only God can be thanked for him not killing anyone.
All along, friends of his, including myself, have tried to get him, and his ex-wife, on a better track. But, his ex-wife, as I wrote previously, is a different letter.
We have tried to get him to give up alcohol, but since he has never hit true bottom, that has not happened. We have tried to get him to be more responsible with women and relationships, but that has not happened either. The truth of the matter is, there are so many women who find him attractive, love his "masculinity," his gift of gab, and, according to him and some of the women, his bedroom abilities, that there is really no reason for him to change his womanizing ways unless HE really wants to do so. In other words, he has to get tired of doing what he's doing for him to change. At least, that's the conclusion to which I have arrived.
Alphonso now has another child for which he is claiming responsibility. There are real questions people have concerning his paternity of the child, but that doesn't matter. He says this is his chance to "do right" with this child. However, his behavior hasn't changed so, one would expect results to be the same.
We have tried intervention methods. We have tried yelling. We have tried long term discussions with him. (This has been on going for about 20 years now). We have tried religion. But, to no avail.
Mr. Cosby, you have been to the city where Alphonso lives. He didn't attend your talk.
Mr. Cosby, there is much more to this story, but I'll end it here. Mr. Cosby, what should we do?